Happiness Comes From Within

I can’t really list down the things that make me happy because there’ll be too many. I would rather use this post to share my thoughts on how can I be happy and define happiness itself.

It was a quite tough journey for me to really understand happiness. Linked to my previous post, I had a crazy mindset blockage that was stopping me from being happy. It might be caused by unhealed childhood traumas. However, I could say that my mind was disastrous. I often frown in front of people and refuse to socialize. When there’s a crowd, I prefer stepping out from it and be invisible. It was also a tough time for my mom for seeing me in that state.

I was thinking that happiness is a privilege that people feel only by achieving great things or having innate superiorities (e.g. good looking, being born with a silver spoon, talented, etc. the list goes down). I thought that I have none of those, so I can’t be happy. “How could I be happy?”, I kept asking myself the same question.

That was so naive and low vibrational of me.

Until I found two significant events that changed the way I perceive happiness: my near-death experience, and the COVID-19 pandemic.

The first one, I exhausted myself until I got so badly sick. I was dying due to my bad lifestyle, high level of stress, and also tiredness. I was hospitalized for two weeks straight to recover. I felt really bad for my mom since she had to take care of me 24/7 at that time. She even had to sleep on the cold floor of my hospital room. That time I realized, I have a strong loving mom who is willing to do literally everything for me, why couldn’t I see that and be happy? I felt so bad, and stupid.

Also, the moment when I almost died, I realized that given this life is already one reason to be happy. Because I am alive, I can plant good deeds every day, do more good things each day, spread love to other people. I can’t choose where and in what circumstances when coming to this world, but I can control what legacy that I want to create when leaving.

I know that many people, including me, don’t really have the luck to taste the glorious life of being born in an extremely wealthy loving family or whatever (insert happy circumstances here). However, even people that have the happiest life that we can dream of, can be unhappy too. Everyone has their own battle, yet everyone has choices to be happy or not happy with everything they have right now.

I strongly believe that happiness is a choice. It comes from within, it is a feeling that comes from a perspective. If I choose to be happy, then so I am. If I can see the good in everything, then I’m good to go.

Easier said than done? Yes.

But, is it feasible? Yes.

Happiness is actually controlled in our brain. Hence, actually, we have full control of it! There’s a way to trick ourselves to be happy.

So that’s my two cents, now let me explain why the second event changed the way I perceive happiness.

The pandemic makes me witness death more frequently than the regular times. There are even people that died at young productive age. It haunted me, made me anxious every time I saw another death announcement coming in. It made me realize that life is very short.

No one can guarantee when will someone die. Not even a terminal illness, not even living the healthiest life ever. Then, if I spend today only mourning, complaining about my life and things that I surely can’t change, I definitely waste so much time. I choose to be happy with everything I have right now. Spending day by day feeling grateful that I’m still alive and surviving, surrounded by people that I love.

Right now, waking up with ease, breathing freely, walking, eating foods normally can make me very happy. It’s nice enjoying life and being grateful for the simplest things. I believe that it’s the mentality that allows me to achieve greater things in life. Just imagine if I can’t manage to be grateful for the simple things, how can I handle the grand things?

Just to let you know, I also acknowledge the other emotions. A human can’t be happy all the time. There are times where I feel sad, stressed, angry, etc. because I’m still a human, after all, I’m not a god. I’ll let myself feel those emotions, and move on. Whenever there is a chance to choose to be happy, choose that way. Being in low vibrational energy doesn’t give me any good and I’ve experienced it myself. So, I should continue living this life positively, making the most of my life while it still lasts.

In conclusion, I don’t need to list things that make me happy. All things will work just fine in making me happy, as long as I allow myself to be.

Thank you for reading, I hope you find the things that make you happy!



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Junior content writer in the IT industry, was a literature student. Write reflections, thoughts, poems in my free time.